Saturday, April 30, 2011

Google Searches, Audience, Twitter, and My Old-Man Soul.

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I find it disconcerting that my blog is being advertized on an amateur porn site, but it is. I went and looked through the sites that reference my blog and one looked rather bizarre, so I clicked on it and I was immersed in so much vagina that I couldn’t see straight. It really makes me wonder how people can actually look at porn and not get overwhelmed: vagina here, penis there, nipples everywhere. But I have been getting a bit of traffic from that site, so I guess all publicity is good publicity.

Besides that, I was looking at the Google searches people use to find my blog, and once again, highly disturbing. People stumble upon my blog by the following searches: Neon pink spray paint, long now pink I can sleep, boiling water ruining pot, can you spraypaintbraces, fluorescent pink spray paint, genital paint, genital warts friends, how to spray when going to have sex, I dislike my bishop, and I want to stab him. I am really concerned that somebody who uses genital paint is actually reading my blog, or better yet, a person looking for fellow genital wart lepers.

I really shouldn’t be critical, especially if these people actually read my blog, because I don’t really have the largest audience. It brings back old memories of when I started to blog and it was a mildly successful blog. I had readers from 15 different countries and 30 different states. Now, I have genital wart inquirers and people painting their genitalia. I will still keep my head up and type, no matter how unread I feel.

I guess it all links back to the fact that I am lonely and how I miss when I knew somebody was thinking about me all of the time. My best friends have moved away, the wave of men interested me has waned, and I feel like I am a little bit stuck (especially with my sister flying up to Utah tomorrow). But really, I want somebody to be thinking of me constantly. Is that weird? I see Tal and she never stops texting this boy she met from LDSsingles, Bonnie would text her ex-boyfriend, Coco has constant communication with her boyfriend, Tierra with her lover, and I look at my phone every few minutes just waiting for something, anything really; a smidge of stimulation to my day… a connection to somebody other than myself.

To remedy this, I find myself going to random chat rooms, like Omegle, and talking with strangers for a while. That became boring after the third Malaysian girl asked me how it felt to live in UT, so instead I opened up a twitter account. That is bizarre for me because I think twitter is one of the stupidest fads to have ever popped up in the world. Don’t get me wrong, I love me a good facebook status, but a website devoted to facebook statuses that calls itself a miniblog? I think that if you don’t have enough to say to be classified as a blog, maybe you should stick with statuses. But that is just my bitter-old-man soul, rejecting advances in technology and society.

Two more months, and then I am done with BYU. I pray that I will be done with loneliness too.