Thursday, March 10, 2011

Jim: The Smelly, Pot Ruining Slob.

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I am not a clean freak. I can withstand some mess, and my bedroom is most the time in shambles, but besides my own space I would like to have a clean area. This has proven to be a problem with this year’s roommates though. They are the biggest slobs I have ever come across, and my kitchen sink, if not piled to the brim with used dishes, smells like it is actually a toilet. I especially have a problem with this because my roomies will use my pots, my pans, my forks, my plates, my bowls, my spatulas, my whisks, my blender, my food processor, and anything else that is mine in the kitchen, and then leave it to rot in the sink.

Today, I had reached my limit of waiting for other people to clean their shit, so I went to work. The worst proved to be my medium sized sauce pan that somebody decided to make instant mash in… two weeks ago. It has sat on our counter, in front of my cabinet, and I was not going to take care of it. Unfortunately enough, I should have dealt with it last week because the mash had cemented itself to the sides of the pan and would not budge. Nothing less than putting the pot on the stove and boiling it with baking soda could soften the residual potatoes enough for me to chisel the mess off for the most part.

As I was finishing up the dishes, the worst roommate of them all came out. “Can I grab a pot for my ramen?” I responded with, “If you do not wash the pot after you use it, I will kill you.” So he gets out my largest pot to boil water for ramen, places it on the burner with about a half a cup of water, and leaves the room. I was furious haw blasé he was about me doing all of his dishes, so I went to my bedroom to find my stash of revenge. Laxatives. I have a box on hand just in case I decide to become bulimic, and I would never want to puke up my previous meal (mostly because I have nice teeth, I would hate to melt them with hydrochloric stomach acid). I placed the tablet in the boiling water and let it sit for a few moments. My guilt caught up to me, so I poured out the tainted water and filled the pot with more water.

I went to take out the trash and chat with my friend, but when I came back, the pot was still on the stove boiling nothing. I snatched the pot off the burner and looked at the damage done. It wasn’t horrendous, but the Teflon is now flaked and I feel an overwhelming hatred towards Jim (my smelly roommate). So I pound on his door, yell a bit, and he comes out and just passes it off like nothing happened, although he did say he will buy my a new pot. My problem comes with the fact that all my pots and pans are a set, and he will skimp out and get me some cheap ass pot that I will then think of him whenever I open my cupboard; thus, I will never use
it.

Maybe it is because of kharma for putting the laxative in his water, although I did replace the water so he wouldn’t actually experience my revenge. I guess this just means that when you do something bad, you have to make up for it and more, or else kharma still applies. Or maybe I was supposed to slip him a laxative and because I didn’t, the universe punished me. Whatever it is, I am just still upset about something so trivial as a pot… and maybe that is a problem itself.